Wedding Department Wedding Blog

Thle other day I was reading a wedding guide and I was surprised at some of the suggestions, one in particular, for wedding favors.

The guide suggested that brides and couples buy favors about 4 weeks prior to the wedding date.  This timeline may work in some situations, for example when the favors are to be Jordan almonds tied in raffia. But truly unique favors may need more time to produce.

Take for example our fall leaf theme wedding favors.  To begin with we make all of these favors by hand.  This means we start with raw clay and work it into the shape of fall leaves and fire them at a high temperature in a kiln.  The process it self can take a week or better.  If personalization is involved then we need to add 2 weeks for production of the stamping plate that will emboss the names and date wedding or event.  Even after the favors are finished firing the vials of fragrance must be filled, boxes must be purchased, ribbons are tied in each favor and the customized card is printed, cut and folded.  All of this takes time.

However the one variable that can take the most time is the que.  This is becase fall has become a very popular time for weddings.  And this means a higher demand for fall wedding favors.  It’s just that simple.  Depending on demand it can take us anywhere from 4 to 10 weeks to deliver an order of favors during the autumn season.  If this is the case for our hand crafted favors what about others?  It might be better to play it safe and get the delivery times locked down early, even if you do not intend on buying early.  All it takes is a phone call or email to inquire and that can save a disappointment when the time has run out.

So I will respectively disagree with the wedding guide that says buy favors 1 month prior to the event.  In my opinion this would be a mistake.

To some people the wedding music is probably one of the most important elements of any wedding or special party. 

In years past live entertainment was usually the only choice due to the limitations of recorded music.  Record albums were bulky and the sound equipment was not readily available as it is today. 

Today the DJ or Disk Jockey is a more viable choice, particularly due to the compact disk.  The task of playing the right piece of music at the right time is as simple as pressing a few buttons.  Multi disk changers allow an entire set to be set up in advance so the music can be selected well in advance. 

Some of the advantages of hiring a DJ include saving money and a broader selection of music available.  Since the DJ service usually involves one or two people the cost can be less than that of a band where there are a number of members to be paid.  The DJ usually can select any music by any artist that has be recorded.  Also a DJ can usually set up in a smaller space than a band.

If you find a good DJ service they may also be able to serve as the MC as well.  Having a master of ceremonies will help the event flow in the chosen direction with fewer hitches.

Never the less, many people would never think of having “canned” music at their event.  We came from the era where recorded music was for home listening and Juke boxes.  Using this type of music for any party was never even considered. To many people there is no comparison between live and recorded music.

Choosing a musical group that suites your needs does not have to be difficult.  Especially since there are numerous good musical groups to fit any need from solo piano to small orchestra.   Finding the right wedding grope is easy if you have a particular one in mind.  If you don’t simply check your local telephone directory or online wedding sources.

Don’t limit your search to something like “wedding music”.  In-fact talent agencies usually have access to a wide assortment of musicians for any event.  Even thought they may get a “cut” it usually comes out of the musicians end.  Be sure to have a type of music in mind when you call on the agency, or any prospective DJ or band for that matter.  The agency may have audition tapes or other promotional materials that will help you make a good decision.

Whether you are using a DJ or live music, proper planning is everything. 

The music plan could be as simple as a type of music such as “country” or “western” or “rock” or as complex as specific numbers to be played at certain times.  Experienced musicians or a good wedding planner can help you compose the music lineup so that certain pieces will be played when the time is right.   

Other things to consider are contracts and making sure what exactly is expected of the entertainment.  How much and when will they be paid.  Does the band get fed?  How late do you expect them to play?

Don’t forget that your loud music is loud noise to others.  I remember back when I played in a band and we were to provide the music for a wedding party.  The  party was out side at an American Legion club and the neighbors complained so much the police came  and pulled the plug.  Not that the music was bad, just that it was in the evening and the neighbors wanted peace and quiet.  The juke box provided the music for the rest of the evening.

The most interesting wedding music moment we ever witnessed was at the wedding of a band member when he stood up and sang “Mack the Knife”. Priceless.

The bridal registry is another element of a wedding that has lost its original meaning in addition to RSVP and others. 

Originally the bridal registry was to inform guests on particular silver or china patterns or the choices of colors for linens and so forth.  This was a good idea because if you were intending to give silver or china it might as well match the brides pattern.  With out the registry a newly weds apartment or house might end up looking like a college students dorm room, filled with a mix and match of pilfered hotel towels and coffee house cups and spoons.

Somehow along the line the idea of  a tasteful way to inform guests of the living room colors as turned into a shopping list including everything from soup to nuts, literal.  It seems like almost every company who can lay claim to being part of the “wedding industry” is jumping on the registry band wagon.  Even resorts are offering registries.  Think about it.  You could offer the bride and groom mud baths or festive drinks by the poolside.  How quaint.

And as if the whole idea of picking out your wedding gifts, Santa Clause style is not tacky enough, some people are voicing their discontent with guests who dare to go off the list. 

This is the ipitamy of crass, after all the guests are well, the guests.  The were invited to come to the wedding.  Hopefully they were not invited for the gifts, but to share in the union.  Well there may be one exception and that would be inviting the president just to get the cool letter with the seal and everything.

As the host it is your responsibility to accept any gift with grace and gratitude.  If you feel like you did not get just what you wanted then suck it up.  You got what you deserved!

So what do you do if you get a gift you can not use. 

First of all its a gift.  It was given to you with out strings, and now it is yours, to do with as you please.  If your friend who gave you the gift is indeed your friend, he/she or they should not be offended if they do not see the gift on the mantel every time they come to visit.

But if they insist on asking about the gift simply change the subject.  For example if they ask you  something like,  “say Chad, I haven’t seen that singing bass we gave you and Muffy at your wedding”, you should counter with something like, “how bout those Jets” or glance down at your watch and say , “jeez look at the time.  I’m late for an appointment to get the lawn mower tires re vulcanized”, then briskly usher them out the nearest door.

A gift is a gift.  I remember when an acquaintance was given an “engagement” ring for Christmas.  When the relationship turned sour he wanted the ring back but since he was being a cheep skate by combining an engagement ring with a Christmas gift he was out of luck.  The ring was a gift and so it was OK to treat it like any unwanted jewelry.  It was sold.

If you absolutely can not use the gift you may be able to exchange it, if you knew from where it came.  Many companies have become very accommodating with respect to their exchange polities, even with out a receipt. 

You could sell the gift on eBay or even give it to charity.  Or better yet you could re-gift it. 

 But if you re-gift make sure you “forget” and leave the card from your wedding packed inside.   We got a real kick when a good friend gave us a really nice crystal bowl, and when we removed it from the box there was the card from when he and his ex received it as a gift at their wedding.  It makes me smile just to think about it.

And make sure to check registries in advance because you might be able to fit it in between the custom audio speakers and the pina coladas.