Wedding Department Wedding Blog

The bridal registry is another element of a wedding that has lost its original meaning in addition to RSVP and others. 

Originally the bridal registry was to inform guests on particular silver or china patterns or the choices of colors for linens and so forth.  This was a good idea because if you were intending to give silver or china it might as well match the brides pattern.  With out the registry a newly weds apartment or house might end up looking like a college students dorm room, filled with a mix and match of pilfered hotel towels and coffee house cups and spoons.

Somehow along the line the idea of  a tasteful way to inform guests of the living room colors as turned into a shopping list including everything from soup to nuts, literal.  It seems like almost every company who can lay claim to being part of the “wedding industry” is jumping on the registry band wagon.  Even resorts are offering registries.  Think about it.  You could offer the bride and groom mud baths or festive drinks by the poolside.  How quaint.

And as if the whole idea of picking out your wedding gifts, Santa Clause style is not tacky enough, some people are voicing their discontent with guests who dare to go off the list. 

This is the ipitamy of crass, after all the guests are well, the guests.  The were invited to come to the wedding.  Hopefully they were not invited for the gifts, but to share in the union.  Well there may be one exception and that would be inviting the president just to get the cool letter with the seal and everything.

As the host it is your responsibility to accept any gift with grace and gratitude.  If you feel like you did not get just what you wanted then suck it up.  You got what you deserved!

So what do you do if you get a gift you can not use. 

First of all its a gift.  It was given to you with out strings, and now it is yours, to do with as you please.  If your friend who gave you the gift is indeed your friend, he/she or they should not be offended if they do not see the gift on the mantel every time they come to visit.

But if they insist on asking about the gift simply change the subject.  For example if they ask you  something like,  “say Chad, I haven’t seen that singing bass we gave you and Muffy at your wedding”, you should counter with something like, “how bout those Jets” or glance down at your watch and say , “jeez look at the time.  I’m late for an appointment to get the lawn mower tires re vulcanized”, then briskly usher them out the nearest door.

A gift is a gift.  I remember when an acquaintance was given an “engagement” ring for Christmas.  When the relationship turned sour he wanted the ring back but since he was being a cheep skate by combining an engagement ring with a Christmas gift he was out of luck.  The ring was a gift and so it was OK to treat it like any unwanted jewelry.  It was sold.

If you absolutely can not use the gift you may be able to exchange it, if you knew from where it came.  Many companies have become very accommodating with respect to their exchange polities, even with out a receipt. 

You could sell the gift on eBay or even give it to charity.  Or better yet you could re-gift it. 

 But if you re-gift make sure you “forget” and leave the card from your wedding packed inside.   We got a real kick when a good friend gave us a really nice crystal bowl, and when we removed it from the box there was the card from when he and his ex received it as a gift at their wedding.  It makes me smile just to think about it.

And make sure to check registries in advance because you might be able to fit it in between the custom audio speakers and the pina coladas.